"The Five Words That Made It Real"

I don't know about you, but for me there was one day, one magic moment that made me finally realize that I'm really all grown up and a father of my own now. I guess still being a fairly young lad I had a little trouble letting go of the "freedom years" and embracing the "responsibility years". I mean after all, for the first year they pretty much eat, poop and sleep....not always in that order of course. And yes there was the occasional interrupted sleep and unanticipated lifestyle changes that began to make me realize that this is a little different then when we adopted the dog.......But it was that one beautiful day, those five magic words that made it all real. I remember it as clear as day. I was sitting on the couch watching the game when from the other side of the house, my sweet..sweet son yelled from the top of his lungs these words to me.............

"DAD, COME WIPE MY BUTT"!!!!

"Sometimes They Are Just Smarter"

Sometimes my three year old girl will just outright outsmart me....The other day I walk into the kitchen and their she is, on all fours, drinking out of the dog's bowl. So, naturally I yell,..."Katelyn what are you doing!! You can get sick from doing that!!". Her reply..."But yesterday I did it and didn't get sick".....So I ask you, how do you beat that?..She got me, stopped me cold............Ahhhh, but I'm the Dad, the boss, the one who's never outdone by his kid, right?..So I quickly came up with a clever response to reinforce my status as the boss and end this little power struggle right hear and now...

"Well, If you know what's good for you, you'll be sure to leave some for the dog"!

"Flying Taco"

Sometimes my kids will do something that is so out of character that I wonder what is really in those fruity cereals. One evening my family and I are sitting at the dinner table enjoying my wife’s famous taco dinner. Then, out of nowhere, whistling through the midsummer air appears a taco shell, headed straight for my wife. Now being the man of the house, I felt compelled to jump in front of my love and take the taco for her. After all that would be the “manly”, “honorable” thing to do. But then an image flashed into my head… that of both my wife and I both being struck down in our prime and our poor children left to fend form themselves. So, I stayed put and watch the drama play out…Fortunately for all involved, my wife was only grazed in the right arm. We turned and looked at each other, both seeking to verify what we just witnessed really did happen. Now, by the look on her face, I know exactly what was going through my wife’s mind, “Thank God this happened here and now, instead of in a restaurant or when having company over for dinner”…. Well, I too was just as surprised and shocked by what I saw, ….Good arm angle…Nice tight spiral…Great overall form…..

So, he went to his room for a while and I returned to the kitchen where my wife and I tried our best to keep him from hearing the laughter…I mean sometimes you just have to laugh.

Well, all is forgiven and no more flying dinners to date. Will it happen again, who knows…But one positive thing came out of this…. We are now signed up for midget football!